most of my coworkers think from me saying; “nothing just staying home” that im spending it with my “family” and picture me at home with a christmas tree or a menorah and gifts wrapped somewhere with a father and a mother at the least but they dont even know. they think im playing around when i tell them i live by myself, they think im playing around when i say im tight on money, they think im playing around when i say i dont have shit to do so im gonna come back to the gym.

i say the blunt truth so effortless and with little emotion that majority of people second guess my word.
in actuality today, ill either be staying home jerking off out of boredom, wasting gas and just driving around, watching movies or tv while wanting to explode from being stuck with what im given, maybe ill take out my bike and just ride around like i used to do when shit got hard. too bad the gyms closed.

my dad, he says hes at my grandmas but hes really with this chick that he says is just his friend, my ass nigguh i still cant believe you try to pull that shit on me. i saw you sneak out with her last night you scum bag. chances are most likely knowing you, the piece of shit you are- youre spending the night with her again tonight and driving up to my grandmas early tomorrow morning where youll expect me to drive up in my own car and to be honest i dont want to, i dont give a fuck about you or my grandma. my grandmas never really been more than a source of income to me- i dont consider that family and my dads just going to see her to get his name in the will.

i dont want you in my life. and if i could id write shove this up your ass or fuck you or something similar to how i feel towards you in this 50$ bestbuy gift card that i got for you just so you dont rage on me because with your expectations your hoping for me to write a letter saying “thanks for always being there and having my back” when youve never really been there for me especially these past 2 years.